OMG, I think I've lost you...

I'm sick of what worship is made out to be. I'm also sick of what I make it to be. I'm just too critical and I only feel connected when my guitar is in my hands. This my mountain to climb. I do however thinnk that there needs to be some sort of structure to have a working worship. By my definition a working worship is is something that flows smoothly. Something that provides a easy outlet to God. with little destractions. So how do I acomplish this in my standards? I multiply myself and do it all with my anal nature. Lol. I guess it's a long shot. I guess what it comes down to is having leaders that aren't there to perform for anyone else than God. The ONLY person that deserves the glory. I feel like I'm rambling and I apologize if my spelling is off. I'm doing this from my phone at 315am. I miss my lord. I miss a connection that I use to have with him. Things will change. I just don't know how long I have to wait.